Downward spiral to EMONESS

I am currently in a "I have no freaking idea what am I feeling" kinda mood, rite now. Just a general sense of feeling moody/down...And having no idea how to get out of it...

Random thoughts which have no meaning just keep on springing to my head...Thoughts that evaporated and vanish just as quickly as they came...

General sense of foreboding that something bad is going to happen soon...Feeling as though I am just mindlessly passing through life...

Wanna get out of this slump but having no idea how...

Perhaps the best explanation would be that I have temporarily lost the purpose of my life on this Earth...yet not feeling suicidal or anything...

Have no idea of what I juz wrote anyway...

Feel an urge to just scream out loud, but yet feel that it will serve no purpose...
Wanna punch someone, but yet afraid of the consequences...
Wanna confess but yet now is not the right time...

Raving and ranting, yet it still does not lift me out of the slumps...

Putting words to what am I feeling right now, as suggested by Jerold, doesn't seem to have a "encouraging" effect on me...

Am I turning emo? I seriously hope not...but still...

IN OTHER NEWS:

Unit cohesion was a blast, drinks and gossiping still the norm.

"Back to School" celebration last Friday was fun. "Asshole" Tai ti was enjoyable. That happy moment seems so far away...

Outing at Jumbo Seafood was nice too, although I personally feel that another location for our outing would be nicer...

BACK TO REALITY:

Life sux...at least for the moment, when will it not sux?
Is this part of growing up?

Really need a change, but what kind of change?

Why is this happening? I have absolutely no idea...

Perhaps...

Maybe...

All the countless possibilities...and outcomes, but which one is the destined future?

Maybe it is best to be caught out in other worlds, other realities...

Secret Invasion (Marvel Comics), Countdown to Final Crisis (DC), Final showdown with Naraku (Inuyasha), When the Vizards were "Taichos" in Soul Society (Bleach), Entering the New World Arc (One Piece)...but alas, they are all moving at a snail pace...

Seeking salvation from this accursed state of mind...

Ranting like a depraved lunatic...sure does not help at all...

Seeking a distraction, death is too extreme, any alternatives...lol

Laughing at myself...for being a fool...for carrying unrealistic dreams...for all that I have done and all that I will ever do...

Life goes on...and on...It is a cycle of birth and death...
Ups and Downs...kinda like a roller-coaster ride, ain't it?

Life seems to be in semi-black and white now...No colours...

Is this what it feels like to be sad?

Hope that it does not go any lower than that...

Foolish notions and emotions of a insignificant parasite on this planet...

Will the former "Derrick Tan Wei De", please step forward...

Gnawing doubts eating my mind away...

Stop this shit!

The downward spiral to being a EMO KIA starts here...LOL

Waiting for the right moment...although it seriously seems too far away...

May fortune smile upon the weak...

Random quotes coming through my head:

1) "To be love to madness..." (Return of the Native)

2) "Fear is the mind-killer..." (Bene Gesserit Saying - Dune Novels)

3) "Life is a passing dream, but the death that follows is eternal..." (Seymour Guado - FFX)

4) "BANKAI" (Bleach)

5) "Kill the fool" (Samurai Warriors - PS2 Game)

6) "I hate it..." (Lenneth Valkyrie - Valkyrie Profile)

7) "All life ends with Nu and beings with Nu...that is my belief, at this for now" (Chrono Trigger)

8) "Ayla fight while live...No change rule" (Ayla - Chrono Trigger)

9) "I am the best there is in what I do, though what I do ain't very nice.." (Wolverine - Marvel Comics)

10) "Although this may be selfish, but this is my story, and it will end the way I wanna, or I will end it right now..." (Tidus - FFX)

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THE END...AND THE BEGAINNING of...

Who knows or cares...lol

lolololololololololol

All the smiley faces would not help me now...

The abyss of depression is looming...

Will I be able to swim to salvation or sink into the bottomless pit?

The former is what I hope for, while the latter is starting to look extremely tempting...

Writing/typing is therapeautic but currently it has no effect on me...

Sorry bro, any other suggestions...LOL

Ciao...hope to be more cheerful the next time I blog...although it looks doubtful at the moment...

byebye...

Be joyful and be happy...